| Don't let the HGTV fool you - Anderson Independent Mail (subscription)
By Becky Wilhoit
Don't let the HGTV fool you
Posted March 23, 2008
Don't let my affinity for all things HGTV fool you...I have no skills. The only shows on that network (which I swear is a mildly addictive, domestic-stimulant teledrug) that I won't watch is "Design Cents," as that's because I don't decorate with chicken motifs or large quantities of blue gingham. But "House Hunters?" I'm down. Some "Design to Sell?" Count me in.
So yesterday's mission? Stain my brand-new, bare wood, large, hulking, perfectly chic computer armoire a dark, rich, "Bombay Mahogany Gloss." I was even so smart as to find a 2-in-1 Minwax stain/polyurethane combination (which turned out to be total crap).
Simple enough, right? Armed with my sponge-brushes, my plastic drop-cloth, and my 2 cans of divinely dark stain, I began the task.
About 45 minutes later, I called my husband (off helping his dad with some construction at their place), distraught and disappointed.
"Honey, this thing looks like compete and utter crap," I (admittedly) whined into the phone. The wind gusts caused the stain to drip everywhere, settling in cracks and crevices and leaving streak marks everywhere on the piece. By the time my husband returned to survey the damage, the armoire looked like one of those intentionally distressed, rehab pieces that my mom would find in a yard sale somewhere between Columbia and Manning. Not necessarily bad, but definitely not the polished mahogany I'd been hoping for.
My husband suggested painting it a nice glossy black, and I think at this point that's about all we can do - it'll look nice, but I wish I could've managed to pull off this DIY-job with the finesse of Candice Olsen or one of those domestic divas from HGTV. Lord knows I spend enough time studying their projects that I ought to be able to do ridiculous things like faux-finish a countertop, ragroll an espresso-colored accent wall, or create a homemade, MacGyver-worthy headboard out of little more than dental floss, cotton batting, a sheet of plywood, and a few leftover swaths of raffia from my last kitchen project. Big sigh.
Alas, my homey MacGyver skills have yet to surface, and my husband is already armed with primer and paint to repair my snafu. I guess we just can't win them all. | 
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